Video Editor/Writer
The LBCC Commuter
Dating is a tough game these days. It’s not like the old days, where you picked a girl up from her parents house and you had to have her back at a certain time. No, no... we live in a time that is a little bit more lax and free. Dating has become more casual, in theme, then what are parents grew up with. People meeting online and dating has boomed in the past ten years. So, first impressions are very key to developing intimate relations with someone. Sometimes dates help you figure out where you stand with someone, where you’ll be friends or lovers is yet to be seen.
Now this post is what to avoid on that first date with the special someone you’re crushing over. This is not a how to get in the girl’s pants post, so you guys can stop reading if that’s what you think this is. This is for the guy who really wants to leave a good impression and ten things that are deal breakers. According to Urban Dictionary, “a deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess”. So here it guys, take it or leave it:
10. Permeate Offensive Odors:
One of the most instant deal breakers is the sense of smell. Why do you think companies like Old Spice and Axe make so much money with scents and colognes? Women like the smell of a clean man; it keeps them interested. Girls go out of their way to smell nice, by any means necessary (well, most girls at least...) So guys, please shower and deodorize; brushing your teeth is a great move, complemented by some flossing and mouthwash.
9. Be Rude:
I’ve heard this rumor that being negative to a girl works. I strongly disagree. Look, there’s a difference between a date and a one night stand. So this advice is to the guy trying to keep the girl: be nice to her. Being rude won’t win you any brownie points. Plus, women will remember every detail, so watch your words.
8. Talk about your Ex:
We’ve all had the ex-partner that left quite the impression of emotions on us and, yes, it’s great to express your feeling about them; just not to your first date. The last thing that she wants to hear about is the problems that you had with your ex. Unless asked about it, keep away from that one that got away.
7. Avoiding Eye Contact :
You’d be surprised how much people respond to eye contact. We are people who read body language, so the lack of eye contact indicates at a lack of interest. When she’s speaking, look at her. Avoid staring at breast or curvatures that seem appealing. That what we have peripheral vision, gents. C’mon, she knows she’s looking good, but blatant staring comes off creepy. Unless she’s down for that sort of thing; then you don’t didn’t need this to read this column from the beginning.
6. Don’t listen:
It’s never good when she says, “Have you heard anything I’ve said so far?” or “am I making sense?” and you’ve got nothing to counter. Think of it like a casual lecture from a college professor that you actually enjoy; so much easier. If you’re not interested, at least make an effort to have a good time. First dates are always hard, especially when getting to know someone. Active listening is a great way to show her you’re paying attention. I’m not saying quote her verbatim; this is not an MLA-style paper, but more enough to show that she’s not talking to a wall.
5. Dress for Success
Dress for what fits in the environment. You don’t want to wear a suit and tie to Applebee’s or wear cargo shorts and a cut tee to a place with reservations months in advance. Just look like you gave some effort and I’m sure she’ll be pleased. At some point, we need to learn how to use and iron. If you are going to put on that nice shirt and slacks, make sure they are with too many noticeable wrinkles. Personally, I’ll throw that shirt in the dryer, the use the iron to smooth out the stragglers.
4. Dominate the conversation
Monologues are boring to most people.You know that you find what you’re talking about to be interesting, or why else would you be talking about it? Read the body language. Most people are polite enough not to say anything, but if something is uninteresting to them, there are dead giveaways, like loss of eye contact (see, very important), anxiousness, etc. Keep it casual and bouncing back in forth. Unless you are explaining something in great detail, keep it open and so that you both have something to relate to.
3. Guy Talk:
Most guys I know talk about things very differently when girls are not around (we all know this to be a fact). I won’t elaborate too much because I know every single guy knows what I’m talking about. Let’s face it: the girl looking for Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now) wants a guy who is respectful in how he addresses her. She’s not your “bro”, “homie”, “dog”, or “bitch”. Point taken?
2. Hating her Interests
I have three sisters, all of whom I love, but annoy the crap outta me. When it comes to common interests, there are few. But I’ve learned to accept them and deal with it. This has proven to be successful for me in the dating game. Say you’re at the fair and your girl wants to play one of those stupid ass games that you know is there just to take your money. You have two options: you can deal with it and just play the game or you can simply not do it at all and walk away. Now, she’ll probably like it if you just play the damn game so your best bet is to come to a compromise. Find something that you wanna do and have her do it as well; that happy medium so both are exposed.
1. Bringing a Friend
Number one dealbreaker. You go to get to know some girl intimately with your home boy and he has just as much on her as you do. Guys, if she’s worth it, leave the dudes away. If she’s worth it to you, you buddy will not cease to recognize as well. Plus, that shows a lot of tackiness and may put a doubt in her mind about your feelings toward her. Plain and simple, you want to be the one to make the impression.
I hope these suggestions are helpful in your pursuit of that lovely lass!
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